It is ten days before my build in Guatemala and I have just received an email from my esteemed leaders.  I have been building with these men for four years now, I know them well, I trust them and they are far from alarmists.  This is why the content of this particular email has unbalanced me.

This is not my first time in Central America, and those who know me would say I am cautious, but I am also trusting and I also continue to wear rose coloured glasses.  Ya...they may be a bit faded, and no doubt there is a crack or two, but I still believe in good, in change and that one person can push a pebble that can become a boulder of compassion.  I know what I bring with me when I travel...a suitcase full of hope, and the heart of an idealist that maybe, just maybe life can be made better for those who did not draw the same damn lucky card that I did.

But this email made me nervous. It shook my foundation and made me realize that I will have to pack the woman who knows how to be careful. The woman who is married to a police officer, who knows that darkness can lie in the least suspecting places. It warned of high rates of violence, of gangs and the drug trade. It said we must not have any appearance of wealth, that all jewellery must remain home, that our wedding rings had permission just this one time. While my nerves are shaky, my husband's response was his usual pragmatic self.

"Better to be proactive, Jilly.  Better to know what is in front of you."